LAMENT
week 11 | may 31 - june 7
LAMENT
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. We are all feeling it. And sometimes it is good to stare straight at the source of our grief. To name it. And especially, to bring it to God.
Spring of 2020 has seen the turmoil of a pandemic that has killed roughly 113,000 Americans and many many more around the globe. This pandemic has set the nation’s economy on a strenuous path, causing joblessness and burdensome financial crises and worries. And with the death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police and the ensuing heart-wrenching, complex “aftershocks” of grief, outrage, peaceful protests, and then violent ones too, we recognize that our own Twin Cities are in a historical moment of great pain over racial injustice. We are left with many heavy emotions and a desperation for God to come and heal our many open wounds. We are sad. And we are tired. And perhaps we do not know what the next step should be.
The current tragedies and struggles often recall to mind times past when grief has been too much for us as well.
God is God. He sent is Son to bear our sorrows. And that’s just the point—Jesus really. can. bear. them. He can bear our confusion, our questions, our desperation, our guilt, our frustration, our hopelessness, our faithlessness, our sadness, and our grief. Lament is the holy avenue of bringing your heart, raw and messy and faint as it is, to God.
We are all grieving, but we are not all grieving the same things in the same ways. This week’s creativity project highlights how different members of the body of Christ have expressed lament in the past, or are expressing lament now. The art present here is beautifully and painfully unguarded. If you can honor your brothers and sisters in their lament by engaging with it here, your own capacity for both lament, and for hope, will be grown both deep and wide.
Untitled
Clara Jacobs
pencil
It Matters To Me
Jamie Kaihoi
photography
Thoughts Following George Floyd’s Unjust Death
Bryonie Moon
Dear church family, some of you may have already seen this on facebook, which, truth be told, is not my favorite medium. It feels much better to me, and more fitting, to offer it here to you - my church family - whom I miss terribly these days. Love to all of you!
——————
I have had friends and family asking me how Josh and I are processing this last week and it’s hard to know what to say. I was driving home from work last Tuesday afternoon when I first heard about George Floyd and when I got home I watched the now infamous video with growing horror. After dinner we grabbed our masks and piled in the car and drove to Cup Foods. Evangeline brought paper to write a sign – I don’t think either of us even suggested that idea. In the car she worked on it and then showed us, “No more of this.” Except the “of” was backwards so it said, “No more fo this.” It was already raining and it was hard to find a place to park.
We followed our phones to the address and joined small clumps of people that seemed headed in the same direction. It wasn’t a big group outside of Cup and it was peaceful. There were occasional chants of, “Black lives matter!” and “We want justice!” There was a woman from NAACP walking around talking to people. All kinds of people – so many different faces – I wondered what their stories were. We couldn’t see who was doing the talking since we were trying to maintain social distance and the rain just kept coming.
Josh put Evangeline on his shoulders so she could see. She held her sign and quietly took in the crowd. Judah was ready to leave pretty quickly, not liking the rain. A young woman came up and asked if she could take Josh and Evangeline’s picture.
We drove home, our hearts heavy. “Now what?” I wondered.
And then the world found out.
A River of Tears
Melody Villars
I prayed this lament about 8 years ago in the midst of an agonizing estrangement from my son and grandchildren.
What is separating me from the love of God?
A River A river of tears, of sadness,
Mourning my children.
Tears that feel like blood squeezed from my heart.
This sadness veils God’s face.
This grief has built a wall between me and God’s compassion.
I need a bridge, God. Please show me the way over the river.
Please take my hand and lead me beyond my tears to Your side,
the side of Hope,
the land of Love,
where You shine down and dry all tears.
Lord, I want to find my way there . . .
but I need a Shepherd to guide me.
I am drowning in this river, God.
Let me cross to the land of Your everlasting love.
Let me feel Your gaze on my face and Your warmth in my heart.
Let me know what Joy is, oh my Lord.
Back Down The Black
Ochs Family
And help, is well on it's way.......
song originally by Boy and Bear
'Cause you're hurting
I can tell by the way that you move
You got your head on your chest and your chest in your mouth
You don't look so good
There'll be change
'Cause this one's too big not to see
But brother you're scared and I'm scared when you're scared
'Cause you ain't supposed to be
So I'll scream out loud
Won't you get out my way
'Cause I got the animal
I got the beast on a leash these days
So you don't go wondering back down the black to that awful place
And help is well on it's way
And You taught me too much to sit back and watch you this way
Just to watch you this way
There's a light sound that comes around
Like a raven in flight
A shivering child as the car windows left open overnight
And I watched it light up the moon again
And I watched it all disappear
Oh tether of life won't you shepherd me home again dear
So I scream out loud
Won't you get out my way
'Cause I got the animal
I got the beast on a leash these days
So you don't go wondering back down the black to that awful place
'Cause help is well on it's way,
You taught me too much to sit back and watch you this way
And I've been back down the black now before
And I won't watch you this way
No I won't watch you this way
And oh, my legs don't work and my limbs all hurt
As my body aches to take the weight that's been thrown down on top of you
Like you would do too
A Grandmother’s Lament
Barbara LaTondresse
In the photo my grandsons carry crude paper signs which proclaim that BLACK LIVES MATTER and cry out for EQUAL JUSTICE FOR ALL. Their parents want them to remember George Floyd’s death as a turning point in the quest for an end to racism, and let’s pray that it is.
The Face of Famine
Melody Villars
plaster
Haunted by photos of the terrible famine in Somalia in the 1990’s, I was compelled to make this image of a starving woman lamenting the loss of her child.
Excerpts from My Journal
Pam Keske
Lament, to me, is being really honest with God and in so doing so being honest with ourselves. The following are three conversation's with God as I fought through a very long season of joblessness and many other losses. Understand there are many, many joyful, hope-filled entries too but these are just a few moments where I am just raw before God.
April 17th, 2019, Lent
What do we learn when prayer goes unanswered?
Patience? Dear God, I have already learned this lesson over and over.
It does not seem like enough.
Faith? I thought I had bucketful’s. I thought I trusted you before, when nothing was clear and there was only misery.
It still does not seem enough
Hope? Hope in what I can’t see? I am tired of not seeing, I need to see a glimpse of you, a glimpse of reality.
I have told my children over and over “Our hope is in the Lord.” And yet where are you?
Will you not show yourself faithful, at least to them?
Over and over I find myself trying to lift my husband out of despair, saying words I believe but don’t feel.
(it’s a good thing my feelings have very little to do with it or I would be in trouble)
Ok, let’s get those feelings out. I am angry, I am tired, I am so, so, scared. I, of course, put on the face of a faith-filled women…fake it till you make it…but honestly, I feel you have put me through enough and I have obeyed you, followed you, hoped in you and NOW you disappear?
I know often our prayers go un-answered but if you do not lead him to a job THEN what are we supposed to do? At least bring us someone who can help us figure that out. I don’t know what to do.
OK…so I have not known what to do many times before, what do I know from that.
You provide what we need, when we need it (and not before). You provide who we need as well. You bring things from unexpected quarters and are gracious. You care more about our hearts than our circumstances.
October 2019: One Year In
Will You?
When he loses his job
And all answers are “no”.
Will you trust me still?
When the lights go out
And the fridge turns off.
Will you trust me still?
When the credit cards are full
And the checkbook overdrawn?
Will you trust me still?
When the house doesn’t sell
And the price has dropped low.
Will you trust me still?
When his heart’s door slams
And our son says “No!”
Will you trust me still?
When our daughter leaves
And says, “you can’t see them”.
Will you trust me still?
When I have answered prayers
And then just stop.
Will you trust me still?
Will you?
Today I have shelter.
Today I have food.
Today I am warm.
Today I am loved.
This is all I know.
Tomorrow bring what you will,
Today, I trust you still.
March 9, 2020: Prayer Makes Me Angry
Prayer makes me angry
I know it’s my fault.
Words seem so useless
Talking to God who already knows.
Prayer makes me angry
It’s so often meets with silence.
People claim to know how it works.
They don’t know.
We can’t know.
We are too little.
We are told to do it
To trust it,
to embrace it.
But not to understand it.
Prayer makes me angry
My heart burns to see your kingdom come.
Often all I see is darkness winning.
Why can I not see?
I know it’s me.
Are you too busy with other things?
Forgive me Lord,
Have mercy on me.
Because prayer makes angry.
Reflection on Disunity in The Body - Ephesians 4 4:1-16
Jodie Hedman
watercolor
The Hope of Lament
Joel Bascom
We know in our heads
It’s always darkest before dawn.
“My God My God” was lamented 3 days before the empty tomb.
We were not consumed due to his steadfast love.
We must hold in our hearts
That lament only comes through hope.
That lament is hope crying out.
That lament is vain without hope.
I walked through a place of deep lament
And paradoxically found deep hope.
At the corner of 38th and Chicago-
Came the intersection of hope and lament.
Because at Golgotha…
Hope and lament formed a cross.
To Lament is To Remember
Molly Ruch
There was a man at our church who had a daughter named Aimee. I did not know Aimee but I shared a place at her bedside the night she died. I was given the privilege to share in her death, to be a part of the anguish being experienced by her mother and father and brothers. Each year during the last week of May, my mind, and even my body, laments the tragedy of her death. Again in the last week of May, my city, nation and even world, was given the privilege to share in the death of one we did not know; will our very bodies remember the death of George Floyd?
I remember Aimee at other times as well. Whenever I see a driver, stupidly thinking it is polite and kind to wave to a biker to cross the road in front of them, when oncoming vehicles haven’t been given warning or told of this foolish invitation and may see the biker too late. I remember and pray. I remember Aimee when my daughter, now twelve years old and the same age as Aimee at the time of the accident, puts on her bike helmet and sets out to feel the delight and freedom in her independence. I remember and pray. And I remember Aimee when I see the color orange, her favorite color. I remember and pray for those who mourn. I was given the privilege to lament. I am trusted to remember and to lament life’s tragedies.
I know we pray to one who could bring a girl or a man back from the dead. I believe he showed us that he can. In lament, which brings me to my knees, I know also that he can redeem. He redeems death - changing souls and lives and societies. I believe he showed us he can and will and forever will be. Come, Lord Jesus. In your mercy, hear our prayers.
Advent Lament
Daniel Bixby
Advent Lament Oh! Prends Mon Ame
D. Bixby (H. Arnéra) / Air Israélien
Hold us close, dear Father; bind us to your heart
Keep us, your children; never let us part.
How long ‘til peace and justice will embrace?
How long, O Lord, until you show your face?
Emmanuel! Come give us cause to sing.
Emmanuel! Come now and be our king!
Be our Messiah, heal our hurting land,
Be our Redeemer, make us new again.
Hopelessly we’ve wandered far without a guide
Lost in the darkness, full of sin and pride.
Now we need a star to guide us through the night
We need a savior who will make it right.
In your steadfast love, Lord, save us from our sin
Holy Messiah, let your reign begin!
King of kings! Our hope remains in you alone
None shall remove you from your mighty throne!
Source de vie, de paix, d’amour.
Vers toi je crie, la nuit, le jour.
Entends ma plainte, sois mon soutien.
Calme ma crainte, toi, mon seul bien.
Loon
Steve Hunt
Have you heard the lake’s lovely song?
At twilight’s edge when light gets shy
On cue from the conductor’s baton
She begins her lamenting sigh
The finest violin can never match
This perfect tenor cry
Where is this lonely chant directed?
The loon does not notify
To the creatures deep below
Or to the angels in the sky
Save your song most gracious bird
When I return and you once more pass by
Lament
Melody Villars
ceramic
I gave this sculpture to Rachel Wilhelm after she released her “Lament” album. She had expressed earlier how much she liked it, and she understands what it means to lament!